There's always a little bit of time if you look for it and prioritize.For example, clean up the house every third day instead of the second. Once you prioritize, other things just have to come second and third.

Question from Janet: I don't even know where to begin. Almost all activities have either singles groups or mixed groups of singles and married people who are all devoted to the activity at hand.

But remember, if you don't find someone interesting in the group, you should leave — don't get stuck in a place where there is no opportunity to meet someone.

I think people should go out with the people they are attracted to.

We don't call Demi Moore a cougar — we just think of her as beautiful, famous, talented, and with good taste. But I don't think that attraction is all about how you look. And if you pick somebody who you feel good with, your friends will be happy for you. You will be around someone who shares your passions, and have a lot to discuss.

You can go online late at night and you can use your lunch hour to have coffee with the people you meet. The important point is that people who have kids learn pretty quickly that they need someone who also has kids, and guys are going to look for that, too.

Just remember, if something terrible happened — let's say you had to go to a funeral — you'd find the time for it. Question from Denise: I'm in school, working and a mother of 7- and 15-year-olds. They want someone who has the capacity to understand children's needs, just like you do.

But just so you know, I was the lead witness against the don't-ask-don't-tell rule in federal court and I testified for gay marriage in Hawaii, and for gay adoption and foster-child placement in Arkansas. Just because you have had some intimate relationships that didn't work out, that doesn't predict the future. If you like to hike, you are likely to meet men who like to hike in a hiking club.

So please feel free to ask me questions that involve same-sex relationships, and I will be glad to try to be helpful. » Question from Sarah: I'm worried I have too much baggage to go back out there after a couple of failed marriages. On the other hand, if you don't think you know what ended those relationships and you don't feel wiser and more capable of a relationship now, then you should go see a therapist or counselor so you can solve some of your previous problems and get rid of the baggage. I haven't found anyone who likes to do the same things I do since my husband. If you like opera, join a group that supports opera.

Remember, the ultimate goal is to meet the love of your life.